A traditionally patriarchal society such as ours rarely lets a man step out of the ‘mould’ that it makes for him – expected to be strong at all times, he cannot succumb to emotion and he cannot bow down to anyone or anything. At the other end of the scale, society rarely conditions a man to treat a woman as his equal or, in certain cases, his superior, giving rise to crimes against women. And therein lies the crux of a deep-rooted evil that we do not even realise exists – trapped in various roles that dictate what they should do, men are stifled and unable to connect with themselves and others around them.
Add to this, the problem of gender-based roles men and women are expected to portray, and the very foundation of what is known as ‘masculinity’ is shaken to the core. Taking a note of this, and observing how young men react in situations of extreme stress and when they were called upon to address a problem in a manner they would normally not employ, social activist Harish Sadani, secretary of Men Against Violence and Abuse (MAVA), decided to draw men into the ambit of what he calls ‘gender empowerment’.
“I realised that young men, particularly college boys, did not have a non-threatening platform to express their fears and conflicts,” Sadani says. “There are several unanswered questions about man-woman relationships, gender parity, even about the role of men in women’s issues. There is a lot of gender-based violence in society that occurs because of stereotypes. Most importantly, men are equally vulnerable to the same issues that affect women. Sadly, our government thinks that women empowerment is the only answer.”
In 2006, Sadani floated the idea of Yuva Maitri for rural areas in Pune, starting with sessions for 36 first-year degree college boys from six colleges. “I put up posters inviting them for discussions on issues that affected them. The sessions were interactive in nature, where the focus was on unwinding through discussion. They slowly began to see that the problem lies in the fact that men are expected to be winners from the bedroom to the boardroom. The programme groomed the group for a year to be good communicators, and 18 boys were left at the end,” he says.
By now, the programme has extended to Mumbai, Satara, Kolhapur and now Jalgaon. “The thrust of the programme had to be changed according to the region we went in,” says Ganesh Phule, 23, one of the communicators from Yuva Maitri. “For example, in a place like Kolhapur, which has the lowest sex ratio in Maharashtra, the popular mindset is that the girl child only causes a drain on finances and is of little use. Our sessions there address the importance of involving women in all spheres of life, from education to employment.” Today, the programme boasts of up to 125 dedicated communicators who are replicating the programme in their own ways. “Some are still studying, others hold full time or part time jobs. All work when they can,” Phule says.
The programme has replicated faster with the communicators seeking tie-ups with local NGOs. “Even girls are showing a lot of interest in our work and we welcome their participation. However, the focus is on men,” Sadani explains.
Initial sessions ran into a few problems, but the boys shook off their disappointment. “Some colleges would suddenly take away classrooms they had allotted to us. Others would refuse to allow the programme to become anything but a one-time project. Besides, many boys who came for the sessions would think we were giving women too much importance. There were discussions on ‘how many more concessions should we give women’,” Phule laughs.
Perhaps the crowning moment for this team of young boys quietly working to dispel myths about masculinity, was the prize they recently won in an online global competition hosted by Ashoka Changemakers and Campus of Excellence, a worldwide organisation that funds social entrepreneurs. “Our entry was listed under the theme ‘Prevention of Violence against Women’ and the judges looked for innovation, impact and sustainability of the idea. We have received a 5,000 USD grant as well,” Sadani said.
Phule, Sunil Chanchad and Amol Kale are three of the first batch of communicators from Pune, and the programme’s most active proponents. All three are now grooming others to travel independently like them and take up activities ranging from street plays to informal discussions. Phule and Chanchad recently participated in the Bell Bajao campaign in Mumbai. Kale, who will sit for his masters in social work exams, says, “When I participated in the sessions three years ago, I began to observe how I was treating the women in my life. I realised that just as I took it as a right to order my sister around, she had the same right, too. Moreover, I began to see that women were increasingly being portrayed and looked at as sex objects, something that began to disturb me. When I take sessions now, a lot of young men voice these concerns. ”
Kale realises that men find it a bit tough to open up about emotional issues. But when you put them a room with other young men, and are able to speak their lanaguage, they immediately feel less threatened and open up.
